I Bet you Didn’t Know…                                                                                                                

I taught the Wright brothers how to make planes. I taught Beethoven how to read music. I taught Charles Dickens how to read. When I was 13 I swam the Atlantic Ocean. Herman Melville didn’t write Moby Dick, I did. Charles Darwin got his Theory of Evolution from a paper that I wrote. Pangaea did exist; I was the one who moved the continents to their current places. I am the world’s greatest astrophysicist, anthropologist and Doctor.

I single handedly ended the Hundred Years War. I was Maid Marian in Robin Hood. I was Irene Adler in Sherlock Holmes. I was Belle in Beauty and the Beast. I wrote every Greek Myth. Every instrument that has ever been invented I can play, with extreme accuracy. Wal-Mart was first opened by me. I know every word from every version of the bible. All winter sports were originally my idea. I helped the Beatles compose their songs. Jim Carrey learned comedy from me, so did Robin Williams. My first word was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I can speak every single language. Animals love me.

The Marvel universe and DC comics were my ideas. I invented a time machine, which I used to meet Jeanne D’Arc, Queen Elizabeth and Mary Magdalene.  Long ago  I won all the gold medals in both the summer and the winter Olympics. The Eiffel tower and the statue of liberty were built by me. The Taj Mahal was built by me. The Pyramids were built by me. I fought lions in the Roman Coliseum and won. I have walked the Great Wall of China. I designed the Parthenon in Greece. I have done all these things but I have not yet attended college.  

Well, I was not prepared for that exam. It was the math exam, and who is ever prepared for math? I didn’t study at all. I walked into the gym, why was it always so cold? First things first, where was my seat? They always take so long to give the instructions, I’ve done this before, I knew what to do; the teacher’s voice sounded like a record stuck on replay. Finally they said go. It started out fine, there were factoring questions and fractions, which are not my favourite but they were easy enough. Then I got into the arithmetic and geometric sequences and I lost it. Did we learn this in class? All I could hear was the annoying scratch of pencils, and the click-click-click of calculator keys. Did I mention it was cold? Why didn’t I wear sweater? The paper next to me was taunting, but no, I would never cheat. I could feel my seat growing warmer as I sat there panicking. I moved onto the next question, I didn’t know that one either! The paper in front of me was quite soft but those questions were hard. I could hear my watch ticking away precious minutes. I decided to do my best, which wasn’t much. Never again would I say “no way, I don’t need to study.” I do need to study! That was the worst experience of my life. A month later I got the result, 70%, I passed!